Celia Rivenbark

Celia Rivenbark

Celia Rivenbark is a NYT-bestselling author and columnist. Write her at [email protected].

a sign on a building reads Netflix

Weekend humor from Celia Rivenbark: Modern strikes spur memories of textile mill battles 

By: - September 30, 2023

[Editor’s note: This post was written prior to the settlement of the writers’ strike. SAG-AFTRA, which represents actors and many other industry performers, remained on strike as of September 30.] The months-long strikes by film and TV writers and actors reminds me of the time they tried to unionize the textile mill that was, by far, […]

a hand pointing a TV remote at a screen

Weekend humor from Celia Rivenbark: Grandpa seeks a bride in new cringeworthy reality TV show

By: - September 23, 2023

When I say I cannot WAIT for the Sept. 28 debut of “The Golden Bachelor” — the senior citizen version of “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” franchises — please know I’m not being sarcastic. Much. For too long, we’ve been subjected to shiny 20 somethings with taut skin, thick hair and thin ankles (girls) and […]

two mased healthcare providers (including one shining a light) look into the camera

Weekend humor from Celia Rivenbark: Really? My physical now includes this kind of test?

By: - September 16, 2023

After the usual vital signs check at my annual physical, the nurse looked at me with a kind smile. “OK, now I’m going to say three words and I’m going to ask you to recall those three words a little later.” She said the words slowly and distinctly, but they were almost drowned out by […]

a drawing of several raised hands with hearts on the palms

Weekend humor from Celia Rivenbark: Say “hello” back to me…or else

By: - September 9, 2023

I was sitting around, just feeling like, I dunno, a “listless vessel” when I read that researchers have found if you simply say “Hello” to at least five of your neighbors on a regular basis you will be rewarded with a significant boost in overall wellbeing. According to the new study by the Gallup National […]

Florid Gov. Ron Desantis speaking a t a podium with the sign reading Stop Woke Act

Weekend humor from Celia Rivenbark: Loony DeSantis policies bench the bard

By: - September 2, 2023

Oh, what fools these mortals be! And by “fools” I mean Ron DeSantis & Co. whose overcaffeinated-meth-addict-on-bath-salts-while-guzzling-a-handle-of-Fireball approach to education in Florida has resulted in a No Shakespeare policy. Because sometimes, the bard gets bawdy. Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day, Ron DeSantis? Prithy, no. May I instead compare you to a horse’s […]

a Styrofoam cup with a straw

Weekend humor from Celia Rivenbark: A fine southern tradition that ought to be universal

By: - August 26, 2023

I’ve spent a lot of years explaining the mind and heart of the South to newcomers. In the not-so-distant past, I was a speaker for hire at rubber chicken luncheons throughout the Carolinas on this very subject. Usually, the audience was made up of 95 percent transplanted retirees from the North and Midwest. The remaining […]


Weekend humor from Celia Rivenbark: I bet your club membership doesn’t come with a casket

By: - August 19, 2023

It’s not polite to brag but y’all should know I’m a member of a club. It’s a very large club and the food prepared and served at my club is, for the most part, very tasty if a tad heavy on frozen items that can be quickly sauteed in a small electric skillet. My club […]

a Barbie doll

Weekend humor from Celia Rivenbark: Give me “Barbie” over “Sound of Freedom” any day

By: - August 12, 2023

As soon as I read Mrs. Matt Gaetz urged a boycott of the Barbie movie because it demeans “alpha” men (snicker), I realized I had to see it. My friend and I donned our prettiest pink dresses and joined a full theater for some retro fun with a modern-day message. Thanks Mrs. Matt Gaetz! While […]

people at a water park

Weekend humor from Celia Rivenbark: The crazy summer heat

By: - August 5, 2023

I thought I was looking at an enticing picture of gobs of strawberry jam ladled over a tiny sliver of pound cake. But something was off. The “jam” seemed almost violent, and the proportions were odd. Besides, who puts jam on a cake instead of frosting? None of this made sense. I scrolled up a […]

Close Up of Boxers Touching Boxing Gloves Before Fight

Weekend humor from Celia Rivenbark: Musk vs. Zuck

By: - July 29, 2023

The on again/off again “cage match” between Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk is the spectacle we’ve all not been waiting for. A “thrillah of vanillah” if you will. Who is honestly pining to see these two pasty-faced, glassy-eyed billionaires beat the livin’ crap out of each other? Wait. Now that I just wrote that it […]

a hand pointing a TV remote at a screen

Weekend humor from Celia Rivenbark: Vanna White should be the one to reinvent the “wheel”

By: - July 22, 2023

While I’ve got nothing against Ryan Seacrest—he seems like an amiable sort—it’s sadly unsurprising he got the job of hosting “Wheel of Fortune” over the woman with FORTY-ONE years’ experience. Vanna. Girl. If I were you, I’d be sure to flip those letters into a stream of profanities directed at the higher-ups before marching my […]

Ocean water at the beach

Weekend humor from Celia Rivenbark: “Coastal grandmother” trend will sneak up on you

By: - July 15, 2023

A close friend with a penchant for bold flowery dresses sniffed at my oatmeal linen pants, white linen big shirt and pale blue tank. “Coastal Grandma called and wants her clothes back,” she snarked. “Where’s your vintage flower basket brimming with fresh-cut limelight hydrangeas?” Hmmph. I wish I knew. My limelights didn’t come back after […]